Tears of an Angel
by DystopianDuckie
Summary: Emma's sentence is up, now she must figure out what to do with her life while haunted by the cries of her nameless son - the only piece of him she has left. (Set before the events of the show - emotional fallout of Emma giving Henry up and how she pieces her life back together in the 11 years that follow). Rating my change in later chapters.


"That's it," The guard says, unlocking the final gate and handing me a file of paperwork, "you're free to go."

 _Free._

In the last eleven months I had forgotten what that word meant, forgotten the taste of it on the air. Even now it could have been better. I was free but I was alone.

"Where do I go?" I asked, my voice quiet - a rare moment of my vulnerability showing through. My walls had slipped for a second, the prospect of the whole world at my fingertips once more too much to bear.

"Anywhere you want to." The guard, one of the nice ones, said as she gently rested a hand on my arm. Guards weren't meant to touch prisoners - not unless there was a fight - and I flinched at the contact before reminding myself that I wasn't a prisoner anymore. I was Emma.

I had a car and a name and I had never needed more than that.

It was time to get back on the road and see where it takes me.

"You find a place to call home." She added. _Home. Yeah right._

"That'd be a first."

"Doesn't mean it won't happen."

She walked away, the gate clicking shut behind her as the yellow bug pulled up to the drive. Neal's car. No. _My_ car. It was all that good-for-nothing idiot left me with and for now at least it would have to be home.

It was dark on the highway, the kind of pitch-black I hadn't seen in nearly a year, and I was tired. Driving was harder than I remembered and I didn't see the point of pushing through the night without a destination ahead of me.

With fumbling fingers I counted the notes in my purse and sighed. I would be sleeping on the roadside tonight, the lights of the motels passing me by.

At least in prison I had been given a bed.

Neal hadn't cleaned the car out, well… _ever_ so I had to wade through his stuff to try and settle down to sleep, mostly throwing anything that didn't seem useful out of the window before sealing it up behind me and relocking the doors. I hesitated, his old hoodie heavy in my hands, just as I was about to throw that out too but then decided it wouldn't hurt. I didn't have a blanket and plus, it smelt like him.

I may hate the guy for what he did to me, for what he put me through, but I still love him. God I still love him.

I only wish I didn't.

With a sign and a final stretch I draped the hoodie over my shoulders and drifted off to sleep.

" _You're doing great... that's it... just keep breathing...you're doing great." The voices wash around me as I clench the bars of the hospital bed in my fist._

" _Now big push, big push-"_

 _A scream escapes my throat as the pain washes through me, the lights flickering as the baby slides into the world._

 _Cries start from the bottom of the bed, footsteps coming ever closer._

" _It's a boy, Emma." The doctor says. I look away. Didn't I make it clear I couldn't do this. I couldn't look at him. He wasn't mine._

" _Emma…?" He asks, confused. One of the nurses whispers something in his ear. "Emma just so you know, you can change your mind." The crying, the endless crying. My baby. My boy. He wants his mother._

 _But that isn't me._

" _No." I still can't look. If I look I'll hold him. If I hold him I'll never give him up. "I can't be a mother."_

 _He still cries as they take him from the room, the last I'll ever see of my little boy. The last piece of Neal gone forever._

I wake with a start, tears pouring down my face and onto the hoodie. I can still hear him crying, still feel my heart ache with the need to comfort him. But what life is this for a baby - crying alone in the backseat of a stolen car?

His cries mix with mine now, heavy sobs that tear me apart and threaten to overwhelm me. I heave myself into the front seat and turn on the gas, pulling back out onto the road and driving, just driving far away from here. I think of the map that Neal had, imagine my finger landing on a city. Boston.

Boston it is.

I'll just keep driving till I get there.

Keep driving until the cries stop haunting my dreams.

 ** _Hope you liked the first chapter. Reviews would make me smile ;)_**

 ** _Next update should be along soon._**


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